A comprehensive guide to IFS therapy, its core concepts, and how it can transform your relationship with yourself
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that recognizes we all have multiple "parts" within us—like an inner family—each with their own thoughts, feelings, and protective roles.
Ready to experience this transformative approach? Take our comprehensive online IFS assessment - the world's first digital tool for parts discovery and self-leadership development.
At your core is the Self—the wise, compassionate part of you that naturally knows how to lead your internal system with curiosity and care. The Self cannot be damaged and contains these 8 qualities:
IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s while working as a family therapist. He noticed that clients often described internal "parts" that behaved like family members—forming alliances, conflicts, and protective patterns.
Just like members of a family, your parts take on different roles to protect you and help you navigate life. Understanding these roles helps you develop compassion for all aspects of yourself.
Role: Proactive protectors that work to prevent pain and maintain control
Common Examples:
Positive Intention: Keep you safe by managing your environment and relationships
Role: Emergency responders that distract from pain when it breaks through
Common Examples:
Positive Intention: Provide immediate relief from overwhelming pain
Role: Hold your pain, trauma, and unmet needs from the past
Common Examples:
Positive Intention: Carry your authentic feelings and creative essence
Parts often form alliances or conflicts with each other. For example, a Perfectionist Manager might clash with a Rebellious Firefighter, while both are actually trying to protect a Wounded Child Exile. Understanding these dynamics helps reduce internal conflict.
IFS uses a gentle, systematic approach to help your Self develop relationships with your parts and restore internal harmony.
IFS therapy uses this structured approach for working with parts:
Locate and identify the part that needs attention
Turn attention toward the part with curiosity
Learn about the part's characteristics and role
Notice your feelings toward this part from Self
Develop a caring relationship with the part
Understand what the part is afraid would happen
First, protective parts need to trust that it's safe to let Self lead. This happens through curiosity, not criticism.
As parts step back, your natural Self-leadership qualities emerge: calm, compassion, creativity, and courage.
With protectors' permission, wounded parts can finally be heard and healed by your Self.
Parts find new, healthier roles in your life while Self maintains loving leadership.
Here's a realistic example of how an IFS therapist might work with a client struggling with work stress and perfectionism.
Client: Sarah, a marketing manager experiencing burnout and anxiety about making mistakes at work
Session: 6th session, after initial relationship building
Duration: 50 minutes
"How are you feeling coming in today, Sarah?"
"Honestly, pretty anxious. I made a small error in a presentation yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it. I keep replaying it over and over."
"That sounds exhausting. Can you tune into your body right now and notice what part of you is doing that replaying?"
"It's like... there's this voice that keeps saying 'How could you be so stupid? Everyone noticed. You're going to get fired.'"
"Okay, so there's a part that's really worried about that mistake. Can you get a sense of this part? What does it look like or feel like?"
"It's like a frantic part of me, pacing around, just spinning with worry. Very tense."
"And how do you feel toward this worried, frantic part?"
"Honestly? Annoyed. I wish it would just shut up and let me move on."
"So there's an annoyed part too. That makes sense - it probably wants some peace. Could you ask the annoyed part to step back a little so we can get to know the worried part better?"
"I can try... (pauses) Okay, the annoyed part is willing to step back a bit."
"Great. Now how do you feel toward the worried part?"
"Actually... I feel kind of curious about it. And maybe a little sad for it. It seems really stressed."
"Beautiful. Can you let this worried part know you're curious about it, that you'd like to understand what it's trying to do for you?"
"(closes eyes, speaking more softly) I'm asking it... It says it's trying to make sure I never mess up again because messing up is dangerous."
"What would be dangerous about messing up?"
"It says if I mess up, people will think I'm incompetent. They'll reject me. I'll be alone."
"So this part is working really hard to protect you from rejection and being alone. Can you appreciate how hard it's trying to take care of you?"
"(tears up) Yes... it's been working so hard for so long. Since I was little."
"What would you like this part to know?"
"That I appreciate how hard it's been trying to keep me safe. And that... maybe it doesn't have to work quite so hard anymore."
Helping the client notice specific internal voices/experiences rather than global feelings
Checking how the client feels toward parts and clearing other parts that may be in the way
Encouraging direct internal conversation between Self and parts
Helping clients understand parts' positive intentions and protective efforts
Over multiple sessions, Sarah would continue developing this relationship with her perfectionist part, potentially exploring:
Internal Family Systems offers a fundamentally different approach than conventional therapy methods. Rather than focusing on symptom management, IFS addresses root causes by healing relationships between your internal parts.
Learn how IFS differs from traditional therapy →
Develops your inner capacity to lead with compassion and clarity
Honors all aspects of yourself as having positive intentions
Creates sustainable healing through internal harmony
IFS always works with protective parts first, ensuring they feel safe before accessing wounded parts
The client's system determines the pace—therapists never push parts to change faster than they're ready
By staying in Self-leadership, clients naturally remain regulated and grounded during sessions
IFS is recognized as an evidence-based practice with growing research support across multiple mental health conditions.
In 2015, IFS was designated as an evidence-based practice by the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
Studies show significant improvements in trauma symptoms, depression, anxiety, self-compassion, and physical functioning.
IFS aligns with modern neuroscience research on the multiplicity of mind and trauma's impact on the brain.
Working with a trained IFS therapist can provide deeper healing and transformation than self-help alone.
Look for therapists with Level 1 IFS training or higher from the IFS Institute. Many list this on their websites or Psychology Today profiles.
Ensure they're licensed as a psychologist, social worker, marriage and family therapist, or professional counselor in your state.
You should feel comfortable and safe with your therapist. Trust your instincts during initial consultations.
IFS therapy is typically slower-paced than some approaches, focusing on building trust with your parts rather than rushing toward change. Sessions often involve:
While professional therapy offers the deepest healing, there are many ways to begin exploring IFS concepts and developing Self-leadership in daily life.
The most accessible introduction to IFS for general readers
Practical guide for doing IFS work on your own
The foundational text for understanding IFS theory
Applying IFS to food and body image issues
Each morning, ask yourself: "How are my parts doing today? What do they need?"
When activated, pause and ask: "Which part of me is responding? What would Self do here?"
Write conversations between your Self and different parts
Practice speaking to your parts with the same kindness you'd show a good friend
While self-exploration can be valuable, working with traumatic memories or severe symptoms is best done with professional support. Consider connecting with a qualified IFS therapist for deeper healing work.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz that views the mind as naturally multiple, consisting of different "parts" or sub-personalities, each with their own thoughts, feelings, and roles. The goal is to develop Self-leadership to create harmony among these parts.
Unlike traditional therapy that may pathologize symptoms, IFS assumes all parts have positive intentions. It focuses on understanding and healing the relationships between parts rather than eliminating problematic behaviors. See our detailed comparison of IFS versus traditional therapy methods.
IFS identifies three types of parts: Managers (protective parts that try to control situations), Firefighters (reactive parts that emerge during crises), and Exiles (wounded parts that carry pain and trauma). All parts serve protective functions within the internal system.
Yes, IFS principles can be effectively applied through online assessments and self-discovery tools. Our comprehensive online IFS assessment is the world's first to provide detailed parts analysis and self-leadership guidance based on Dr. Schwartz's methodology.
Traditional IFS therapy sessions typically cost $150+ per session, with multiple sessions needed for initial insights. Our comprehensive online assessment provides immediate parts discovery and self-leadership guidance for just $7.99, offering exceptional value for those seeking to understand their internal family system.
Self-leadership is the natural capacity to lead your internal system with the 8 C's: Calm, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, and Connectedness. When you're Self-led, you can effectively communicate with and heal your parts, creating internal harmony and emotional wellness.