One of the most fundamental questions in personality psychology is whether we're truly capable of changing who we are. Are we locked into our personality patterns from an early age, or can we genuinely transform ourselves? This question has profound implications for personal development, therapy, and how we view human potential. The good news is that decades of research have revealed a more nuanced and optimistic picture than many people realize.
The Great Personality Stability Debate
For much of the 20th century, psychologists believed personality was relatively fixed by adulthood. The famous longitudinal studies by researchers like Paul Costa and Robert McCrae suggested that the Big Five personality traits—Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism—remained remarkably stable across decades of adult life.
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However, more recent research has challenged this view. While personality does show considerable stability, it's far from immutable. Studies now show that personality continues to evolve throughout our lives, with meaningful changes possible even in later adulthood.
What the Numbers Actually Tell Us
Research by psychologist Brent Roberts and his colleagues found that personality traits typically show correlation coefficients of around 0.6 to 0.7 over periods of several years. This means that while there's substantial consistency, roughly 50-60% of personality variance remains stable, leaving significant room for change.
- Personality stability increases with age, but never reaches 100%
- The most dramatic changes typically occur during emerging adulthood (ages 18-25)
- Even after age 30, meaningful personality change continues to occur
- Some traits are more malleable than others throughout the lifespan
Natural Personality Development Across the Lifespan
Even without intentional effort, our personalities naturally evolve as we age. Psychologists have identified several consistent patterns in how the Big Five traits typically change over time:
Conscientiousness tends to increase with age, as people become more organized, responsible, and goal-oriented. This makes evolutionary sense—as we take on more responsibilities like careers, relationships, and families, we naturally develop more disciplined habits.
Agreeableness also typically increases, particularly in middle age and beyond. People often become more cooperative, trusting, and empathetic as they gain life experience and develop deeper relationships.
Neuroticism generally decreases with age, meaning people tend to become more emotionally stable and less prone to anxiety and stress as they mature.
"The biggest changes in personality occur in young adulthood, but personality continues to change throughout life. We are not prisoners of our genes or our childhood experiences." - Brent Roberts, personality researcher at the University of Illinois
Extraversion shows a more complex pattern, with some aspects (like social dominance) potentially increasing while others (like excitement-seeking) may decrease with age.
Openness to Experience tends to remain relatively stable but may decline slightly in very late adulthood.
A major study tracking over 130,000 adults found that personality change continues well into the 60s and 70s, debunking the myth that personality is set in stone by age 30.
Factors That Drive Personality Change
Understanding what causes personality change can help us harness these forces for intentional growth. Research has identified several key drivers of personality transformation:
Life Experiences and Major Events
Significant life experiences can catalyze personality change. Getting married, having children, changing careers, experiencing trauma, or going through therapy can all lead to measurable shifts in personality traits. These experiences often require us to develop new skills, perspectives, and ways of relating to the world.
For example, becoming a parent often increases conscientiousness and agreeableness as individuals adapt to the demands of caring for a child. Similarly, experiencing a major setback might initially increase neuroticism but could ultimately lead to greater resilience and emotional stability.
Social Roles and Expectations
The roles we take on in life—as parents, leaders, caregivers, or professionals—can gradually shape our personality. Social role theory suggests that we internalize the expectations associated with our roles, leading to genuine personality change over time.
A shy person who takes on a leadership role, for instance, may gradually develop more extraverted characteristics as they practice public speaking, make decisions, and interact with team members.
Intentional Change Efforts
Perhaps most encouragingly, research shows that people can intentionally change their personality traits through sustained effort. This challenges the old assumption that personality change only happens passively through life experiences.
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Strategies for Intentional Personality Change
If you're looking to develop certain personality traits, research suggests several evidence-based approaches:
The "Act As If" Approach
One of the most effective strategies is to consistently act in ways that align with your desired personality trait. If you want to become more extraverted, actively engage in social situations, start conversations, and take on leadership roles. If you want to increase conscientiousness, establish and maintain structured routines, set goals, and follow through on commitments.
This approach works because behavior and personality influence each other bidirectionally. Acting in certain ways can gradually shift your underlying personality patterns.
Environmental Design
Modifying your environment to support desired behaviors can facilitate personality change. If you want to become more conscientious, create organizational systems, use planning tools, and remove temptations that lead to procrastination.
Research shows that people who successfully change their personality often make corresponding changes to their physical and social environments.
Mindfulness and Self-Awareness
Developing greater self-awareness through mindfulness practices can help you recognize automatic personality patterns and create space for new responses. Regular reflection on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can accelerate personality development.
- Keep a personality journal to track patterns and progress
- Practice mindfulness meditation to increase self-awareness
- Seek feedback from trusted friends or mentors
- Use personality assessments to identify areas for growth
The Role of Different Personality Frameworks
Different personality frameworks offer unique insights into how change occurs:
Big Five Personality Model
The Big Five framework is particularly useful for understanding personality change because it's based on extensive research and has clear behavioral markers. Each trait exists on a spectrum, making it easier to track gradual changes over time.
Research using the Big Five has shown that all traits can change to some degree, though some (like conscientiousness and agreeableness) appear more malleable than others (like extraversion and openness).
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
While MBTI is often criticized for suggesting fixed personality types, many practitioners now recognize that people can develop their non-preferred functions over time. An introverted person might develop stronger extraverted skills, or a thinking-oriented person might cultivate their feeling function.
The key insight from MBTI is that personality development often involves integrating opposing tendencies rather than changing from one type to another entirely.
Instead of trying to change your entire personality, focus on developing specific skills or behaviors that align with your desired traits. Small, consistent changes compound over time to create meaningful transformation.
Realistic Expectations for Personality Change
While personality change is possible, it's important to have realistic expectations about the process:
Change Takes Time: Meaningful personality change typically occurs over months or years, not weeks. Research suggests that sustained effort over 6-12 months can produce detectable changes in personality traits.
Change Requires Effort: Unlike natural personality development, intentional change requires conscious effort and consistency. It's not enough to simply want to change—you need to actively practice new behaviors and thought patterns.
Core Temperament Influences Limits: While you can develop new skills and behaviors, your basic temperament provides a foundation that influences how far you can change. An introverted person can become more socially skilled, but they may never find large parties as energizing as a naturally extraverted person does.
Authenticity Matters: The most sustainable personality changes align with your core values and identity. Trying to become someone completely different from your authentic self is both difficult and potentially harmful to your well-being.
Common Myths About Personality Change
Several misconceptions persist about personality change that can hinder personal growth:
Myth 1: "Personality is fixed by age 25" - Research clearly shows that personality continues to evolve throughout life, with meaningful changes possible at any age.
Myth 2: "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" - While change may be slower in later life, older adults are absolutely capable of developing new personality traits and behaviors.
Myth 3: "Personality change is always the result of trauma" - While significant life events can trigger personality change, positive experiences and intentional development efforts are equally powerful drivers of growth.
Myth 4: "If you're naturally introverted/extroverted/etc., you can't change" - While temperamental tendencies provide a foundation, you can develop skills and behaviors that expand your repertoire beyond your natural preferences.
The Neuroscience of Personality Change
Recent advances in neuroscience have revealed how personality change occurs at the brain level. Neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to form new neural connections throughout life—provides the biological foundation for personality change.
Studies using brain imaging have shown that personality traits are associated with specific patterns of brain activity and structure. Importantly, these neural patterns can change in response to new experiences, learning, and intentional practice.
For example, mindfulness meditation has been shown to increase gray matter in brain regions associated with emotional regulation, potentially leading to decreased neuroticism and increased emotional stability.
Practical Steps to Begin Your Personality Development Journey
If you're ready to work on developing your personality, here's a practical framework to get started:
1. Assess Your Current Personality
Take a reliable personality assessment to understand your baseline traits. This gives you a starting point and helps you identify areas where you'd like to grow.
2. Set Specific, Behavioral Goals
Instead of vague goals like "be more outgoing," set specific behavioral targets like "initiate one conversation with a stranger each week" or "volunteer to present at the next team meeting."
3. Start Small and Build Gradually
Begin with small, manageable changes that align with your desired personality trait. Consistency is more important than intensity in the early stages.
4. Track Your Progress
Keep a record of your efforts and notice patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This helps maintain motivation and provides evidence of your growth.
5. Seek Support
Consider working with a therapist, coach, or trusted mentor who can provide guidance and accountability in your personality development journey.
Change is possible, and it starts with self-awareness. Discover your unique personality profile and unlock your potential for growth.
Conclusion
The scientific evidence is clear: personality change is not only possible but inevitable throughout our lives. While we may have certain temperamental tendencies that provide a foundation for our personality, we're not prisoners of our genes or early experiences. Through intentional effort, supportive environments, and sustained practice, we can develop new aspects of our personality and become more of who we want to be.
The key is to approach personality change with realistic expectations, focus on behavioral changes that align with your values, and be patient with the process. Remember that even small changes in personality can have significant impacts on your relationships, career, and overall life satisfaction. Whether you're looking to become more confident, organized, empathetic, or emotionally stable, the research suggests that with time and effort, meaningful change is within your reach.